The Puzzle That Is Arthur Kirkland
by mshannat
Summary: "Artie please! We can talk about this!" "Alfred you have no idea whats going on here!" "Artie please," He hesitated. "I love you." "Don't you understand? I love you too." Arthur looked back down at the traffic below. "Git." He smiled. Arthur closed his eyes and fell forward. USUK contains mild Yaoi. Don't like don't read Please no flames Don't own anything except story


Arthur stepped onto the ledge, the wind whipping his blonde hair into his face. He pushed it back and stared down to the busy streets below. Cars were honking at traffic and people were running around like ants on the sidewalk. In the background he could hear Big Ben chiming twelve o'clock, he could also hear the masses of people below him chanting. "10. 9. 8. 7." He inched his way over to the edge. The door opened suddenly behind him, he glanced back and saw Alfred panting, his face was red and sweat beading on his forehead.

"6!"

"Arthur!" He panted. "Please come back from the edge!" He pleaded walking towards him.

"5!'

"Alfred don't come any closer!" Alfred took another step. "Alfred I swear to god I will jump if you come closer!" He shouted trying to hold back tears.

"4!'

"Artie please! We can talk about this!"

"3!"

"Alfred you have no idea whats going on here!"

"Artie please," He hesitated. "I love you."

"2!"

"Don't you understand? I love you too." Arthur looked back down at the traffic below. "Git." He smiled.

Arthur closed his eyes and fell forward. "Arthur!"

'"1! Happy New Year!"

Alfred yelled as he ran forward and tried to grab the falling brit's hand. He fell short and could only watch helplessly as the love of his life fell and splattered on the pavement.

Many people turned up to Arthur's funeral. His mother, father and assorted family all showed up. Arthur's few friends all turned up to grieve. Alfred comforted Arthur's mother and expressed his sympathy to his father. During the service he managed to stop himself from crying. Heroes don't cry. He told himself. After the service and everyone left, Alfred pulled a single red tudor rose from his pocket, facing the coffin he began to recite;

_"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,_

_Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, _

_Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,_

_Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come._

_Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead_

_Scribbling on the sky the message, He Is Dead,_

_Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,_

_Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves._

_He was my North, my South, my East and West,_

_My working week and my Sunday rest,_

_My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;_

_I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong_

_The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;_

_Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;_

_Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood_

_For nothing now can ever come to any good."_

And with that he placed the rose on Arthur's polished wood coffin and walked away slowly. He turned around and gazed at Arthurs coffin for one last time before walking out. "I love you." He whispered to a dead man, a lone tear falling from his cheek. The empty hall whispered it back.

A month after Arthur's death Alfred's twin brother Mathew was worried about Alfred. He refused to eat and would only sleep when Mathew told him too, even then he only slept for an hour or so each night. It was really starting to show. Alfred's face was un-shaven and his eyes had bags under them. His face was blotchy and had tear stains. All he would do was flick through all the poetry and story books Arthur had given him and call Arthur's phone. Mathew called his partner Gilbert to discuss Alfred's health.

"Hi Gilbert."

"Hey Birdie! How's Alfred doing?"

"Pretty badly actually. He won't sleep or eat."

"Wait. _Alfred Jones?_ _Alfred Jones_ won't eat."

"Yes he won't eat."

"Have you tried giving him pancakes?"

"Of course! He wouldn't even come out of his room! I have to force him to eat and sleep. I don't know what to do."

"Maybe you should send him to a psychiatrist."

"I hadn't thought of that. Who would you recommend?"

"I'd recommend Dr Toris Laurinatis."

"I'll give him a ring. Bye Gilbert."

"Bye! Good luck with Alfred."

Mathew ended the call and sighed. He worried about Arthur and now he has to worry about Alfred. He just prayed that Alfred wouldn't follow Arthur's path.

Alfred squirmed in the soft red chair. He had been waiting for fifteen minutes for the psychiatrist to arrive. Moments before he had argued with Matt.

"I don't need a psychiatrist!" He had yelled.

Mattie had finally convinced him to come even though the american wasn't happy to be there. Glancing around he saw countless awards and photos of Dr. Laurinatis and a man.

The door behind him opened.

Dr Laurinatis walked into the room and sat down in the chair opposite. They sat in silence until Dr Laurinatis said, "I understand that a friend of yours, a Mr Arthur Kirkland? I was told he recently passed away."

Alfred snorted. "Friend?" He said. "He was more than a friend! I loved him. And he threw himself off a building" He started sobbing.

"How does that make you feel?" Dr. Laurinatis asked gently.

"Don'h hit me with that 'How does it make you feel' bullshit." Alfred replied angrily. "How would you feel if." He gestured to the photos.

"Feliks."

"If Feliks died right in front of you and you could have saved him?"

"I would be reacting just like you are now, but this is not why we are here. We are here to talk about you and your feelings. Now, do you know why Arthur would want to kill himself?"

"Well," Alfred started. "He has been really unhappy the last couple of weeks."

"Unhappy how?"

Alfred took a deep breath and began.

Alfred burst into the room clutching the bag of muffins and the tray of coffee and tea so it didn't spill. Arthur closed his macbook screen quickly and turned to face the hyper american. Alfred only managed to see half of the screen was on Notes and it looked like he was writing a letter. To Alfred? The other half was on a website. 'How to deal with Depr- "What took you so long?" he asked curiously grabbing his tea and a muffin. "The line at Starbucks was massive! You shoulda seen it Artie." Alfred laughed grabbing his sugary coffee and taking a sip. "Don't call me Artie, git." Arthur replied. His deep emerald eyes stayed dim, they usually lit up when he was talking to Alfred. "What were you looking at on ya computer?"

"Nothing why?"

"No reason." Alfred smiled and started at the brit. "Wasn't something dirty was it Artie?"

Arthur continued to sip his tea. "No it wasn't." His eyes still dim. "I have to get back to work now."

"Ok Artie! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye." Arthur replied quietly. Sliding his computer screen open he closed the site he was on. He then went and opened a new tab before clearing his history. He didn't want anyone to worry about him.

As Alfred walked back to his office he had some time to think. He thought about Arthur. _He looks sad today. I wonder why_. He tried to think about other things but his mind kept going back to Arthur. _Is he ok?_ He thought entering his building. The receptionist waved to him. He waved and smiled back as if nothing was wrong. When he got into the lift he pushed the button for his floor and held the doors open for Matt who just came back from a lunch date with Gilbert. "Hey Matt!" called Alfred. Matt turned and saw the door open, he waved good bye to Gilbert and ran towards the lift. "Thanks." He said quietly to Alfred. Alfred smiled at Matt knowingly. "So," He said casually. "How was your date with Gilbert?" He enquired sniggering quietly as his brothers red face. "It was ok." Mathew replied looking down at his feet.

"Just ok?" Alfred replied as the lift doors closed.

"We went to a really nice restaurant just a few blocks away."

"Cool!" Alfred smiled, his mind drifted back to Arthur.

"How is Arthur?" Mathew asked.

"Well, he's ya know." He paused. "Arthur."

"Oh." Mathew said looking down at his shoes. The lift doors opened and Mathew got out. "Bye Alfred." He said starting to walk away.

"Bye Matt!" Alfred called as the doors closed again. He sighed. _Arthur is probably sick._ He told himself. It wouldn't have surprised him. The brit attracted illnesses like McDonalds attracts americans. He knew deep down inside that Arthur wasn't sick. Alfred closed his eyes and wished he knew what was really wrong with Arthur.

At around the same time Alfred was walking back to his office Arthur was scolding himself. _You absolute IDIOT!_ He screamed at himself. What if he saw that?

Arthur covered his face with his hands and groaned.

He didn't think Alfred had seen the site but he couldn't be sure. How could he explain looking on a depression help site?

And what if he saw the letter?

What if he read it before?

Arthur's hands shook. Was he actually going to do it? He couldn't think about this now. Must get back to work. He told himself opening his Mac up.

Keep my mind off it.

Must get back to work.

Must get back to work.

Must get back to work.

Dr Laurinatis wrote down everything Alfred was saying on a small notebook. "How worried were you about Arthur?" He asked

"I wasn't too worried." He replied ashamed. "It did lurk at the back of my mind. But I thought." He swallowed.

"But you thought what?"

"I thought that he was just writing an article for his newspaper. Or maybe one of his brothers was depressed. Or. I don't know! I was just an idiot who should have helped him! What kind of a hero am I? I can't even recognise someone who is destroying themselves!"

"Don't beat yourself up. You didn't know what was happening, there was nothing you could have done."

"I could have helped him." Alfred whispered.

"When did you start getting really worried about Arthur?" Said Dr Laurinatis, who apparently hadn't heard Alfred.

"A few days before he." Alfred couldn't bring himself to say it. "Jumped."

"Why?"

Alfred was sitting on the couch next to Arthur. They were watching the movie _Scream_. Alfred had turned up an hour earlier with the movie and forced Arthur to watch it with him. Arthur hadn't smiled and rolled his eyes like he usually did when Alfred brought over a horror movie to watch with him. He had stayed in the same look he wore for weeks now.

His eyes had lost their light too.

Alfred had brought the movie over because he was worried about Arthur. He was saying less and less and looked like he hadn't been eating or sleeping for a few days. Deep valleys were carved into his eyes and beneath them were purple bags.

Alfred had been barely watching the movie, his eyes kept turning back to Arthur who was watching the movie blankly.

No expression was crossing his face, not even when the killer was stabbing people and moving their bodies around.

It was getting to the end of the movie and Alfred was getting a bit scared of it. Even though he had only been watching small bits of it. When the killer popped out of no where Alfred screamed and grabbed Arthur's arm. Arthur pulled his arm away hastily and pulled down the arm of his crumpled white shirt. Alfred moved back to the other side of the couch. More thoughts swam through his mind. _Did he just see-? Were those-? It was dark it could have been-?_

Alfred glanced back nervously. He could have sworn he just saw scars running down Arthur's arm.

For the last twenty minutes or so Alfred just looked at Arthur's arm. He was scared for Arthur. _Why did he do this? Does he still do this?_ He swallowed hard. He hadn't even noticed the credits were rolling until Arthur tapped his arm. "Alfred?" He asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" Alfred replied trying to laugh. "That movie wasn't scary at all!" He smiled.

"Ok then." Arthur replied standing up. "Well it's late you should probably go home." He said trying to sound cheerful.

"Yeah, I'll just grab my movie then I'll be out of your hair." Alfred quickly grabbed his movie and headed towards the door. He turned before he left. "Hey Artie?" He asked.

"What is it?" Answered Arthur. "And don't call me Artie."

"Um, are you. Ya know okay?" He asked rubbing his neck.

"Yes of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Never mind." Alfred went outside. Turning back again he said. "Arthur, I um just wanted to say, I um."

"Yes Alfred?"

"Never mind." He said once again before walking out of the doorway and into the pitch black night.

Arthur sighed as Alfred walked away. He loved him but didn't want to be a burden on his life. What was he going to say? He wondered. He glanced at his wrists. "FUCK!" He shouted. _Had Alfred seen?_ That would explain the weird questions but had he? He moved his arm away fast enough didn't he? _Oh Shit!_ He had seen. He pleaded silently with Alfred. _Please don't tell anyone. He pleaded. PLEASE!_ He slumped down onto a chair.

"Did your little boyfriend discover your little secret?" A sneering face asked. Unfortunately for Arthur that sneering face belonged to his older brother Alistair.

"Fuck off!" Arthur screamed. He picked up a small sculpture and threw it straight through Alistair's chest.

"You little chicken shit!" Alistair screamed back. "You fucking coward! You don't have guts to do it!"

"Yes I do." Arthur whispered. He picked up one of the pieces of the sculpture and squeezed it. "Please leave me." He said. tears rolled down his cheeks. Alistair smirked but left. Arthur sobbed still squeezing the sharp glass in his hand.

When Alfred got home he wanted to tell Matt what happened but when he unlocked the door he remembered Matt had a date with Gilbert and probably wouldn't be back until tomorrow. He sighed and sat down on their soft couch. Alfred sighed and turned on the TV. He flicked absent-mindedly through the channels, not really paying attention.

'Jenny really helped me-'

'If you have Gastro use-'

'Coming soon to cinemas near you-'

Alfred turned off the TV. He got up and walked around his shared apartment. Pausing only to check the time. 'Shit!' He thought. 'It's almost five!' He opened the door.

Twenty minutes later he was standing at his favourite spot, watching the sunrise. He pulled his bomber jacket closer around him. His breath curled in front of his face. Alfred thought about Arthur and how he would have loved to see the sunrise. He stood there for almost half an hour before trudging home to get ready for work.

Arthur had cleaned up all the glass the next morning and bandaged up his hand. He then got into his moss green sedan cruse and drove quickly to the meeting. By the time he got there he was twenty minutes late.

When he walked into the meeting everyone was deep in conversation. (Well, if you described screaming at each other 'deep in conversation'.) He tried to close the door softly but it slammed behind him. Every pair of eyes in the room turned sharply towards him. "Artie! Over here!" He turned and saw Alfred waving his arms like a madman. Arthur walked over to where Alfred was. As soon as he sat down everyone resumed shouting at each other. Straight away Alfred noticed his bandaged hand.

"Artie what happened to your hand?" He asked, concern lacing his cornflower blue eyes.

"Nothing," Replied Arthur breaking his gaze. "I just, ah burnt myself making some scones this morning!" He replied meekly. "And don't call me Artie. My name is Arthur and that's what I want you to call me." Arthur said coldly.

"Sorry Art- I mean Arthur." Replied the american, shifting in his seat and gazing blankly ahead. Arthur could hear the hurt in his voice but pushed it down. _If he hates me then it'll be easier to do._ He assured himself. But he knew even if Alfred hated him he would still be distraught if he went through with it.

Alfred kept glancing at Arthur as the meeting went on. Arthur's story about burning himself had been a lie and Alfred knew it. Since when has Arthur ever burnt himself making those coal like things he called scones? He wouldn't have- He couldn't have- Did he hurt himself again?

Not only was he cold this morning but Arthur looked like, well what Arthur would look like if he'd gone through hell. Throughout the meeting Arthur's head would fall and his eyelids would droop. Alfred had tapped his shoulder to wake him up. He knew Arthur would prefer it if he woke him up instead of Francis, or 'the fucking perverted frog' as Arthur would call him. When there was about twenty minutes or so left he let Arthur sleep. He defiantly looked like he needed it anyways. Alfred only decided to wake him up when everyone was leaving, he needed to talk to Arthur.

He nudged him. "Arthur? Arthur wake up!"

Arthur stirred but didn't wake. "Arthur!"

"What?" Arthur scowled, yawning.

"You fell asleep during the meeting." Alfred replied.

"I didn't even realise." Arthur said as he stood up. "Has everyone already left?"

"Yeah, only a few minutes ago actually." Alfred adjusted his glasses. "So Arthur,"

"Yes what is it?" Arthur said rubbing his eyes.

"Are you doing anything later? Do you wanna do something?"

"Sorry Alfred but I have plans." Arthur replied. "I need to go now." Arthur walked out leaving Alfred behind.

It was almost midnight when Alfred got a call.. He rolled over and grabbed his phone. Even before he checked the called ID he could tell it was Arthur. Every contact on Alfred phone has their own personal ring town. He clicked answer call and raised the phone to his ear. "Hey Arthur." He yawned. "Dude, you do realise it's like," He checked the clock. "Eleven fifty?"

"Heeeeeeeey Alfred!" Shouted a very drunk sound Arthur.

_Shit._ Thought Alfred. "Jesus christ Arthur! Are you drunk?"

"Nooooooooo!" Arthur replied. There was a bit of noise in the background and some muffled words before a much more sober sounding voice answered. "Hey mate, listen your friend Arthur here he needs to be picked up, I can't let him drive home."

Alfred sighed. "I'll be right there, what's the address?" Alfred listened patiently before pulling on some jeans and a shirt and walking out to his car. Arthur had picked a pub on the far side of London. Probably so he didn't see anyone he knew. It took Alfred ten minutes to get there, when he did it wasn't a pretty sight. The pub looked pretty old and the paint was flaking off. Inside was grubby and dim, Arthur stood out though. He was singing along to a man expertly playing the piano. His voice was loud and off key. Alfred walked over to him. "Arthur come on we need to go."

"No I don't wanna!" He shouted, eyes bright with intoxication. "I wanna stay here!" He whined like a child.

"Fucking hell Artie! We need to get you home."

"No!" He shouted again. His eyelids drooped. "I don't wanna," He yawned "Go home." He slumped down and fell asleep. Alfred picked him up and piggy backed him back to Alfred's car. He dropped the brit in the passenger's seat and secured him in tightly. He then got in the car himself and started the engine.

Arthur was quiet the entire trip. They pulled into Arthur's apartment's driveway and Alfred picked up the unconscious Arthur to put him to bed. He walked up three flights of stairs and opened Arthur's door using his spare key and placed Arthur onto his bed and tucked him in. Alfred couldn't help thinking how cute Arthur looked. He ruffled his hair and was about to sleep when Arthur reawakened and tugged him back. "Please stay." He whispered like a frightened child. "I'm worried what will happen."

Alfred sighed, "Ok Artie, I'll just be in the other room, kay?"

"Mkay." Replied Arthur, drifting back to sleep. Alfred walked out and turned on the TV, he turned the volume down and surfed the channels. There was nothing on except news and a movie. Alfred turned to the movie, it was only just starting. _Good._ Alfred thought._ I love the Matrix!_

He was halfway through the movie when he heard muttering coming from Arthur's room. Curiosity got the better of him and he tip toed over to his doorway. "No! No!" Arthur was saying in his sleep. "Stop it Alistair!" He was tossing and turning, his blankets all over the floor and his face sweating. "Please stop! I can do it! Stop!" Alfred ran over to the bed and shook Arthur. "Arthur! Arthur wake up!"

Arthur work with a start, "What are you doing here?!" He shouted.

"You got drunk and I had to take you home!" Exclaimed Alfred.

"I don't care! That doesn't give you an excuse to come into my apartment!" Alfred walked back into the lounge room and grabbed his bomber jacket. "Where are you going?" Arthur asked as the american pulled the jacket on.

"Home. It's obvious you don't want me here." Alfred replied, walking out the door.

"W-wait!" Called Arthur desperately running after him. But Arthur could see out his window that Alfred had already reversed out and was halfway down the street.

Later on Arthur had cleaned his house and started climbing up the stairs. His phone was ready to send his text as he got to the fifth level. Outside he could hear everyone in London having New Years Eve parties. He shook his head and kept walking, his mind drifting through everything people had said to him.

"You stupid wanker!"

"Just get away."

"Fuck off!"

"How could anyone love you?"

Today was the day.

Alfred was at home, he had broken a plate accidentally and almost broken his glasses. He was angry at Arthur. How could he ask him to stay then kick him out only an hour later? He stayed awake staring at his phone waiting for an apology text from Arthur.

_Beep Beep_. His phone rang. Alfred checked it. It was from Arthur. Bout time. Alfred thought opening the text. His eyes quickly skimmed the text. He dropped his phone. It landed with a crack on the hard wood floor but Alfred didn't care.

_Dear Alfred,_

Alfred ran out the door grabbing his bomber jacket.

_By the time you read this it would have been too late._

He started his car and hurriedly reversed out.

_I will be standing at the top of my apartment building ready to end my miserable life_.

He sped through streets racing against time and just missing partying Londoners.

_I only wish I could have seen you one last time._

Alfred honked at cars and people, driving at an alarming speed.

_And I want you to know,_

He finally pulled up at . He ran out of his car leaving the engine running and started bolting up the nearest stairs.

_That I love you._

Alfred's lungs were on fire and his breath was short but he had to save Arthur. After an eternity of running up a never-ending stair case he found a door. He slammed it open. Looking frantically he saw Arthur standing on a ledge.

"6!"

"Arthur!" He panted. "Please come back from the edge!" He pleaded walking towards Arthur.

"5!"

"Alfred don't come any closer!" Arthur shouted. Alfred hardened his gaze and took a step. "Alfred I swear to god I will jump if you come closer!" Arthur shouted even louder. Inching backwards.

"4!"

Alfred looked pleadingly at Arthur. "Artie please! We can talk about this!"

"3!"

Alfred could see, even in the dim light that Arthur was crying. "Alfred you have no idea what's going on here!"

"Artie please," He paused looking at Arthur. "I love you." He blurted

"2!"

"Don't you understand? I love you too." Alfred saw Arthur looking down on the road. Alfred was relieved. He's coming down! He thought happily.

"Git." Arthur said. Falling forwards.

"Arthur!" Alfred screamed, running forward to try and catch Arthur.

'"1! Happy New Year!"

He stood, glued to the spot as Arthur splattered onto the pavement below.

Alfred started crying again. "I wish I stayed." He said between sobs. "I wish I told him how I felt. I wish I could have done something."

Dr Laurinatis didn't reply. He just handed Alfred a sheet of paper with an date and time. "Here Alfred, here is your appointment for next week."

"Thanks." Alfred replied drying his eyes. He walked towards the door and heard Dr Laurinatis say. "Could you send your brother in? I need a word." Alfred nodded and continued walking out. "Hey, Matt. The doc wants a word with you." Mathew stood up and walked into the office. Leaving Alfred with months of old Famous and National Geographic. He flicked through a few of them while he waited for his brother.

At the same time Mathew was sitting down in the comfy red chair Alfred had sat in. "Dr Laurinatis, you wanted a word?"

"Ah yes, Mathew. It seems that Alfred is very depressed. He is blaming himself for what happened and desperately misses Arthur."

"What should we do?" Mathew asked in his normal quiet way.

"I can prescribe anti-depressants but you have to convince him that Arthur's death wasn't his fault." He explained.

"I'll try my best." Matt smiled. "Thank you for your help Dr. Laurinatis."

As soon as they found a chemist Matt went and got Alfred his anti-depressants. He told Alfred only to take one a day because they were very strong. They would slow down his mind so he also wasn't allowed to drive after taking them. When they got to Alfred's house, Matt asked. "Do you want me to stay over tonight?"

"No Matt I'll be fine. Thanks for offering though." Alfred replied. Matt pulled out of the driveway and drove back to his own house. On the way he called Gilbert and told him what happened. Alfred slumped back into his own house. It was dirty and stank like rotting cheap takeout food. Alfred glanced at the clock, it was six o'clock. He went outside and got into his car. He then drove until he got to the spot. Alfred got out of the car and stood, admiring the beautiful sunset. He was so engrossed in the sunset he didn't see the figure beside him.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" The figure said in a heavy british accent.

"Arthur?" Alfred said excitedly turning to the figure.

"Nope. Sorry but I'm not this 'Arthur'."

"Excuse me but I have to leave." Alfred replied. He drove home quickly, not stopping at stop signs and not caring about the speed he was going. When he finally arrived home he stared at the anti-depressants in his hand while he walked into the kitchen. He then proceeded to pour himself a glass of water and gulp down one of the small pills. He grimaced and swallowed. Alfred walked into his bedroom and fell onto his bed. On his desk were a few of Arthur's possessions. His laptop, his favourite books and a stuffed mint coloured bunny. Alfred walked over to his desk and picked up the laptop. He walked back to his bed and opened it. The mac opened up to Arthur's homepage. The background was Alfred and Arthur when Arthur convinced him to visit Big Ben for the first time. Alfred smiled at the photo, remembering how happy Arthur had been. On his task bar there was only a few programs. He opened Arthur's notes. Remembering Arthur had been writing him something. When he opened it there was only one note.

_Dear Alfred,_

_By the time you read this I probably would have been dead for a while now. I'm sorry I had to do this but you have to understand, I have been unhappy for years now and this was my only escape. I wish I could have told you many things. (Like stop eating those _filthy_ hamburgers from McDonalds!) but most of all I wish that I could have seen you smile one last time before I jumped. I wish that I could have told you how much I loved you. I wish I could have told you how long I have loved you. I'm sure you're wondering why I decided to do this. I'm sure you may have noticed earlier this year that I wasn't at some of the meetings,_

_Arthur looked at his watch. His eyes were bright and he was slumping on a bar stool. His brothers were coming to pick him up. Arthur felt his head drop on to his folded arms but he forced it up so he could see when they arrived._

_"Hey little brother!" Alistair shouted. "I see you can't hold your liquor like you used too!" Owen and Seamas laughed._

_"Sh-shut up!" Arthur shouted back. His words were slurring and it looked like his brothers had doubled. "I can hold it pert-perd-perfectly well thank you!" Alistair shook his head but went and picked up Arthur. Much to Arthurs disgust. "Put down me you wanker! Wait that's not what I meant!"_

_"Shush wittle Arfur." Laughed Seamas. "We're taking you back home." They dragged him out kicking and screaming, dragging him into their car. When they got in Owen and Seamas secured him in by sitting on either side of Arthur while Alistair sat in the front. They pulled out of the car park and started driving back to Arthur's apartment. "Let me out!" Arthur shouted trying to open the door. "I can go by myself!"_

_"Arthur stop!" Owen shouted wrestling him back into his seat._

_"No!" Arthur screamed grabbing the door._

_"Arthur! Get back in your seat! I AM DRIVING!" Alistair screamed turning his head to look at them._

_"ALISTAIR!" Owen screamed back. "THE CAR!" Alistair turned his head back just in time to see a car smash into the side of their car._

_I was the only one that survived. My parents blame me, even though they don't say it. I can feel it. I felt the guilt eating at me._

_Please Alfred don't let this rule your life._

_I love you._

_Arthur_

Alfred buried his face into his pillow. He started sobbing. "Artie!" He sobbed loudly into his pillow. "Why did you have to fucking leave me?! I miss you so much!"

He ran back to the kitchen and gulped down another anti-depressant._ These will make me stop thinking about him_. He thought, swallowing the second. He grabbed the pills, a water and a bottle of scotch Arthur had given him as a present, heading back to his room. He couldn't stop the water cascading his cheeks.

"Arthur." He moaned, swallowing another pill. His eyelids were heavy but he forced them open with a swig from the scotch. He downed another pill and chased it with another swig of scotch. His head was starting to hurt but he felt calmer.

"Please," He pleaded to no one.

"Please let me have Arthur back." He took one final swig and collapsed on the bed.

Alfred's eyelids fluttered. "Turn off the light!" He moaned. The light only intensified so he sat up, groaned and sheepishly opened his eyes. There was a bright light near one of his walls and a short figure was standing in front of it.

"Get up you idiot!" The figure shouted.

"Why?" He moaned sitting up. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. When he opened his eyes he gasped.

_Could he be dreaming? Is this real?_ He stood up and ran towards the figure who greeted him with open arms. "Arthur!" He cried almost crushing Arthur in the hug.

"Don't squeeze me too tight!" Arthur replied happily, squeezing Alfred back.

"I missed you so much." Alfred said on the verge of crying. "I missed your smile and your eyebrows and even your horrible scones."

"I missed you too love." Arthur smiled. They finally broke apart. "And there is nothing wrong with my scones, thank you very much!"

"Yeah, whatever, Artie I really need to do something."

"Ok but be quick we need to go soon." Arthur replied looking at his watch. Alfred grabbed Arthur's shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. Arthur's eyes widened in alarm but soon closed. After the kiss they embraced one last time before walking into the bright light, hand in hand.


End file.
